R E D C O A T S. . .
Cant afford the South Of France this year? Cant even afford wrapping paper, let alone presents at Christmas? Well, I know a place you can go. Yep, its called Butlins.
Better known as Peasants Paradise, theres still no other place on earth that can guarantee you such a wide range of musical tastes - every top singing sensation from 1986
Bands such as, Aswad, who will still be singing their warning cry of Dont Turn Around as every male red coat in the place tries to hoodwink your son into a game of Where are my hands now? And what about lovely Grandma? A much safer way of keeping her quiet than tying her up and putting her in the boot of your Ford Cortina, is to prop her up in front of I thought he was dead Lonnie Donegan.
And this weeks big news is that Steps are to headline a massive show later this year at Butlins in Bognor. A welcome home coming for 'H' as he was a red coat just before he hit it big with Steps (now you know why hes such a huge twat).
And I bet youre wondering what ever happened to good old 80s hairdresser, scouse-monkey (and all round village bike) Sonia? Well, even shes found a new lease of life at the Butlins Adventure Paradise in Minehead. You can now catch her live and in person behind the till in the souvenir shop, just opposite the Crazy Golf course every Wednesday between 10 and 12.