M E R R Y X M A S. . .
Its not even October yet, but the race is already on for the Christmas number one spot. (Even as I write,I can hear Sir Cliff clearing his throat).
But this year readers, things are going to be slightly different. Yep, Ive got a horrible feeling that even poor old Jesus will be crying into his log fire come this December, as this week, I can exclusively reveal that that foul mouthed little monkey Eminem wants to top the charts this Christmas!
Whilst some of our older readers will remember Bing Crosby singing about an idyllic White Christmas, (which he infamously sang at the Notting Hill carnival in 1961, leading to race riots) this year were going to be hearing young Eminem shouting about trying to kill his wife in his festive single STAN. Hardly Mistletoe and Wine is it?
I can just see my dear old Gran choking on her M&S mince pie, as Enimem sings his cheery Christmas message: "Shut up Bitch, Im trying to talk. hey Slim, thats my girlfriend screaming in the trunk. but I didnt slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I aint like you cos if she suffocates, shell die too".
Dear oh dear, perhaps if hed been rapping about killing a reindeer and putting it in the boot of his sleigh he might of got away with it. (P.S. watch out for my Uncle Reggies Xmas Single Emptying My Sacks Down Your Chimney out on November the 27th).