October 6th 2000

C R A C K I N G U P . . .
Looks as if soul 'diva' Whitney Houston has once again been suffering from a ‘drug related illness’.

Yep, take it from me, she is so addicted to smack that she has been injecting it into her arse hole every night for the past three years. (It’s known in the trade as ‘Crack to Crack’) You don’t believe me do you ?

Well, I’m sick of this. Here at Insiders we pride ourselves on giving you, the readers,
the facts. In the past we’ve been falsely accused of ‘making stories up’ and inventing ‘wicked lies’ about pop stars with absolutely no solid foundations.

Well, we’ve changed!

We saw a picture of old Whitney looking a bit ‘tired’ in the papers last week, and after much debate in the office we came to the conclusion that she must be addicted to Heroin. You may not like it, but this is ‘Journalism 2000’.

Anyway, the big news this week is that Whitney had to pull out of her father's Birthday Bash in New York, because her face was ‘badly swollen’ due to a mystery illness. Apparently, she didn’t want people to think Bobby Brown had been beating her up again...Umm….......

I think if you read between the lines, what really happened was Whitney was struck down with a crippling dose of ‘cold turkey’ after a week of peddling smack. Like I say, we bring you the facts, not sordid speculation. Trust me, we’ll never let you down!